Forgiveness Is a Very Humbling Act..

The last we saw each other was at my last day of work in my old company. That was 2 years back. We were not really on a talking term, and I did not really care. To me, he was just being very temperamental and emotional for a guy. 2 nasty emails written by him to me was the cause of the silent treatment. He wanted me to treat him with utmost respect, he felt that for most of it, I was barking instruction to him and hence his last words on his email was that he doesn’t care that if we were not to speak to each other again. I found that to be over the top and childlish, as how can a colleague not speak to another especially if we had to work together in a team. If he doesn’t like the way I handle things at work, he should have spoken to me instead of shouting insults in emails. He was practically shouting in his emails, I assure you.

I wasn’t the first person in the office that he couldn’t get along with. He does have a few people at work that he practically cannot sit down to have civil conversation with. The past colleague who sat next to him was constantly on row with him as well. Initially I thought it was the wrong chemistry between them, but I changed my mind when I become his new neighbour at work place. We have always gotten along quite well at work (before I become his neighbour). In fact, sometimes, we even hang out after work. But all that changed after we become neighbours.

I was the one who introduced him to the job at my old office. He was my junior from uni days. It was his first job after graduation. Initially, he was ok, humble and able to get along with most people. After 2 years, that somehow changed. He began to be a little bit proud and cannot take order from girls; perhaps is his male ego.

Actually, it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s the past. That was not I wanted to share. What I wanted to say is that we did not parted well when I left my old workplace. We did not speak much (although he said that he doesn’t mind not speaking to me for the rest of my life, it is of course impossible not to speak as we work together, DUH?!) We did not keep in touch in the past 2 years since I left, although I do keep in touch with the rest of my ex colleagues.

He started contacting me again the past couple of months. First it was emails, then smses. Then calls on my h/p which I purposely ignore. He asked all my ex-colleagues for my whereabouts and etc, and all of them came back to me saying that he is looking for me and why am I not responding. I chose to ignore their statements.

He finally tracked me down in my current workplace in London and gave me a surprise call! He is in London now, needed favours etc. As I also have my pride, (in my heart, I was thinking, I thought you didn’t want to speak to me for the rest of your life?). But anyhow, since I am supposed to be more mature than him, I treated him civilly and entertained him and also helped him with some contacts for accommodations etc. I also introduced some friends to him here, so that he won’t feel so lonely here. I can understand how it is being in a new place and therefore, I helped him. However, that doesn’t stop me from feeling sore still over all the harsh words that he wrote in his emails to me. (Did he forget what he said; typical of a guy! Or was he being thick skin as he needed help?).

Forgiveness is really a very humbling thing. I don’t know how I will deal with this as yet, but as I believe that what comes around goes around, I need to be civil about this matter and not be cruel and learn ways to be friends again with this person. I am not there yet.
Give me a break k! I am only but human...

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Matthew 18: 21 - 35

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[f]
23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents[g] was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.[h] He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."